greathaircut:

to the prankster who put “the moon” as the address on their online pizza delivery order: thanks a whole dang lot. i was up there for like ten minutes just aimlesly waiting, ringing the doorbell, kicking moon rocks around

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voldemo:

"your password is weak"

You’re the weak one
And you’ll never know love, or friendship
And I feel sorry for you

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verylittlebird:

*me in my grave laughing cause nobody knows the r.i.p. on my tombstone stands for rugrats in paris*

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posluszny:

I almost got sacked by the Tiny Linebacker because I didn’t fucking see him

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helpihavesexlexia:

I CANTB REATHE 

SEEING HIM IN ACTION IS SO MUCH FUNNIER

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barfpop:

before discovering lana del rey

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after discovering lana del rey

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night-catches-us:

kb-saransar:

"According to the FBI, there have been 129 confirmed white Christian terrorists in the last 20 years. That includes Timothy McVae, the uni-bomber, the Atlanta Olympics bomber and dozens of family planning centers and abortion clinics. Muslims? 19. Which would make white people the most likely demographic to commit a terrorist attack. So watch your mouth before you call me a terrorist or I’ll knock your fucking teeth out.

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